Ouch ... I rubbed a tree with my car one night. I feel your self-loathing .... been there. House paint is usually latex paint. I would find a way to keep it wet for maybe a whole day, wet towel, sponge, etc. Then try rubbing it off. You might be surprised. I have restored vintage Hot Wheels cars, and frequently they were kiddie painted. Even decades old paint, at times, could be floated off a nice shiny undercoat. Unfortunately, you can't throw your whole car in a cup of water. lol. Because the undercoat wasn't scuffed up to make the stuff on top stick, it just needed some help lifting it. Then go after it with polishing compound, and the usual detailing stuff. Careful rubbing it, because that detail line is a peak. Don't want to burn through the paint, especially if you are using a buffer machine.
